Every silver lining...©

 Coming 2019

EXCERPT  FROM Every silver Lining:

             …A blow to the flesh, in repetition of history, from Cain to Able to yesterday’s setting sun, a 165 grain, 40 caliber bullet launched at 1,106 feet per second met his flesh at 754 miles per hour, piercing in litany the hopes and dreams of another of our heroes; another of our fallen champions. As the copper tipped executioner’s form was altered by the flesh it mangled through and slowed its’ wrath slicing through the heart, then ending in the left lung, so too his arms quickly began their decent, almost as quickly as they had clutched at the entry point, down to his side, as his reflexes disappeared, as his pulse began to slow, as his thoughts began to fade. His thoughts. His whole life, all struggles, and though brief, all triumphs, in a second, in a repetition of history, the strongest thought, the last to fade, was of the unborn child, he would never see…

5:25AM

            The clanging and rattling of the 1985 Nissan, went unnoticed as Juda’s mind tensely contemplated how coming events of the day would unfold. His breath, hurried. His heartbeat, heavy. His mind, cluttered, but he was determined to win his validation. They had laughed at him, mocked him, and written him off for good. To them, he was just another ex-con with a fresh blemish on his far from perfect life.

            Two weeks. In just two weeks the years of progress he had made, separating himself from his past, had been demolished. Now, he was starting over again. Tears of frustration turned into tiny puffs of steam when they ran down his face which had been seared by his rising hatred. They think they are so perfect. Who are they to judge? He scoffed. Most of them are just like me or worse. And with that thought, his past flashed before him. The justification of his former ways, the self-serving life of a thug, toyed with his intentions. He knew death. He knew suffering and hardships. Beneath his long sleeves he wore the markings of a gang and the branding of the streets. And although some of them bore similar tattoos, he had seen and entombed into the recesses of his mind what they could never stomach to hear about.

            Thug. He always carried the title with conceit. Acceptance of his past made him stronger and more determined than the wannabe’s that he worked with. Still, no matter his confidence, arrogance, or fearlessness of life, he had learned being hard was not the best move in every situation. What lay ahead would test his newly found humility beyond its limits. Judah inhaled deeply. As he slowed to a stop at the traffic light, he closed his bloodshot eyes and exhaled. The one thing, the only person that calmed him, rushed into his mind like a soothing cool breeze on a warm spring day. Shica.

            Shica was not from the streets but she knew struggle. Hard work and sacrifice had secured her college degree. Pain and perseverance had enabled her to round his edges, and turn the lost-without-direction boy into a purpose driven man. It calmed Judah when he thought of her faith in him. Though, it also angered him when he thought of the disappointment he had been to her.  She never said it and probably never would, but he knew. Everyone knew. From the stares and the murmurs, from the blatant dislike exhibited by her family to the lack of existence of his own kin, in his eyes, any fool could see she deserved better than what he was.

            “Honnnnnnnnnk!” the lengthy car horn blasted him from his deep thoughts. Realizing the light had turned green, he sped through the intersection even more angry. Ahead, the road widened into two lanes. As the car behind him sped to the left and passed by, Judah turned to glare at the driver and let them know they had laid on the horn too long against the wrong person. In the predawn darkness, with the aid of street lights, he saw the brief returning glare of familiar eyes sitting in the passenger seat. Time seemed to slow as the white Lexus passed him. He saw the pouting lips and bouncing hair of the female driver, and the light skin faced male passenger with eyes, familiar eyes, that quickly looked away. And when the luxury sedan had completely passed him, time resumed at its normal speed.

            For a brief second he searched his memory to recollect where he had seen the passenger, but it soon became a fleeting thought. The luxury sedan grabbed his attention more. That’s what Shica deserves, he thought. Instead, she shared one car with him. –The rattling old Nissan. She deserves better than this.

            As the Lexus quickly disappeared ahead of him, his rage once again returned. To his rear, dawn’s light began to illuminate the sky. With no working AC along with summer’s heat, sweat began accumulating on his brow. Judah exhaled. It was another miserable day.